Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Snippet Installment
* I find it horribly ironic that when I am in the bathroom (incidentally the ONE room in the house with a lock and trust me I use it) my 7 year old can locate me every time. It's like a bathroom homing device. It happens so fast it's like a force of nature- the knock followed by some question I can't quite hear because he's hoping I'll just say yes to get him to go away.
* Since when does spring break begin at noon the THURSDAY BEFORE the week of spring break? I wish school had been like that when I was a kid. I'm not happy, I tell you. It's like a pop quiz in patience. And I showed up without a pencil. Or any paper. And I wind up kicking the desk of the kid in front of me to ask if I can borrow some of theirs. Not that I've ever done that, by the way. I was always the kid who's desk was kicked.
* I had to go see the doctor yesterday, and wound up wanting to crawl into a cave and hide. Why? I'm so glad you asked. Apparently I felt the need to assure him I was 100% sure I was not pregnant because my husband had a HYSTERECTOMY. Not only was it highly embarrassing, but I was at an urgent care clinic, so there were 4 or 5 beds and a full nurses station with nothing but a sheet between any of them. Yep. This is why I don't talk to strangers, I generally open my mouth and embarrass myself something fierce when I try. So to anyone out there who meets someone for the first time and thinks, "Well, isn't SHE quite uppity?" Please take into consideration she might be trying very hard not to tell you her husband had a hysterectomy.
* I am fortunate enough to have been given antibiotics at my appointment yesterday. Fortunate because I may or may not begin to feel better at some point within the next 24 hours. The sheer irony is that I am now nauseous beyond belief AND my symptoms haven't disappeared.
* I should really put dictionary dot com on my top tool bar because I rely on it like I do the sanity of a bubble bath. I turn to it frequently, and I've checked it no less than 4 times today.
* We took full advantage of the warm spring weather on Tuesday, and walked to Smoochie's school to pick him up from his after school Spanish class. He has this playground that would be really really cool except it was built back in the wooden playground equipment days. Smooch and Florida (his stuffed dog mascot) require splinter removal surgery at least once a week. Bonehead has it down to a science.
* While at the park, I placed Critter in the baby swing next to another baby approximately his size. The other little guy? 6 months old. Yes, in fact, my 13 month old is so little he can't sit facing forward in a car, and wears 6-9 month clothing quite roomily. I try to fatten him up, and trust me he eats everything but the kitchen sink, but he just hasn't seemed to hit any kind of growing spurt in, well, since he's been born, basically. He's gained 8 pounds since he was born leaving him at 13 months and 18 pounds. The doctor has assured me (repeatedly) he's healthy and just has a little build. Still, until he is 6 foot two and I'm looking up at him to yell at him about the garbage not being taken out this week, I worry.
* I have parent teacher conferences tonight, and fully expect a good report. The boy got a Captain Underpants book last night and is already on chapter 10 (for fun, not even as an assignment) so I think the report will go well.
* I am proud as hell that my boy has been in his bedroom reading to himself for the last hour straight. For fun. On his spring break. How cool is that?
update: My boy just informed me he was on page 119. Did I neglect to mention I was proud of him?
* Since when does spring break begin at noon the THURSDAY BEFORE the week of spring break? I wish school had been like that when I was a kid. I'm not happy, I tell you. It's like a pop quiz in patience. And I showed up without a pencil. Or any paper. And I wind up kicking the desk of the kid in front of me to ask if I can borrow some of theirs. Not that I've ever done that, by the way. I was always the kid who's desk was kicked.
* I had to go see the doctor yesterday, and wound up wanting to crawl into a cave and hide. Why? I'm so glad you asked. Apparently I felt the need to assure him I was 100% sure I was not pregnant because my husband had a HYSTERECTOMY. Not only was it highly embarrassing, but I was at an urgent care clinic, so there were 4 or 5 beds and a full nurses station with nothing but a sheet between any of them. Yep. This is why I don't talk to strangers, I generally open my mouth and embarrass myself something fierce when I try. So to anyone out there who meets someone for the first time and thinks, "Well, isn't SHE quite uppity?" Please take into consideration she might be trying very hard not to tell you her husband had a hysterectomy.
* I am fortunate enough to have been given antibiotics at my appointment yesterday. Fortunate because I may or may not begin to feel better at some point within the next 24 hours. The sheer irony is that I am now nauseous beyond belief AND my symptoms haven't disappeared.
* I should really put dictionary dot com on my top tool bar because I rely on it like I do the sanity of a bubble bath. I turn to it frequently, and I've checked it no less than 4 times today.
* We took full advantage of the warm spring weather on Tuesday, and walked to Smoochie's school to pick him up from his after school Spanish class. He has this playground that would be really really cool except it was built back in the wooden playground equipment days. Smooch and Florida (his stuffed dog mascot) require splinter removal surgery at least once a week. Bonehead has it down to a science.
* While at the park, I placed Critter in the baby swing next to another baby approximately his size. The other little guy? 6 months old. Yes, in fact, my 13 month old is so little he can't sit facing forward in a car, and wears 6-9 month clothing quite roomily. I try to fatten him up, and trust me he eats everything but the kitchen sink, but he just hasn't seemed to hit any kind of growing spurt in, well, since he's been born, basically. He's gained 8 pounds since he was born leaving him at 13 months and 18 pounds. The doctor has assured me (repeatedly) he's healthy and just has a little build. Still, until he is 6 foot two and I'm looking up at him to yell at him about the garbage not being taken out this week, I worry.
* I have parent teacher conferences tonight, and fully expect a good report. The boy got a Captain Underpants book last night and is already on chapter 10 (for fun, not even as an assignment) so I think the report will go well.
* I am proud as hell that my boy has been in his bedroom reading to himself for the last hour straight. For fun. On his spring break. How cool is that?
update: My boy just informed me he was on page 119. Did I neglect to mention I was proud of him?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Luck Of The Irish Bi Proxy And An Embarrassing Drinking Tale
I am not Irish. But anyone who has laid eyes upon my Beloved Bonehead knows beyond doubt he is, from his red hair and freckles to his ability to burn every time he spends more than 5 minutes in the sun-even while sitting in a car. The money I've spent in sunblock over the years is another blog post entirely. And I won't even begin to go into his superhuman metabolism for whiskey.
I am beginning to wonder if (living in close proximity to my Irish hubby) the luck of the Irish has rubbed off on me lately, for I experienced a new bout just today (pay no attention to the fact that I dropped the eggs I bought at the store this morning and broke half of them). This morning, when I went online one last time to get Bonehead's personal grocery list, I had a message waiting for me.
Sandi from Lucky Thirteen Plus One had a gracious giveaway on her blog, and I am the winner. I won a $100 certificate to Amazon.com! I have been a reader of her blog for a few months now, and I admire her for her ability to keep her sanity while being the mother of 14. Thank you, Sandi.
And now for the next installment of my most embarrassing moments...
I worked for a wonderful company as a temporary employee for a full year, but alas they didnt have a permanent opening for me. My daycare situation changed and I found myself giving notice because 85% of my paycheck was going to daycare costs. 6 months later, there was an opening within the company, my former supervisors let me know, and I applied and got the job.
It was a marketing position, and I absolutely loved my job. I already knew 98% of my coworkers, how the company worked, and it was like being home again. As part of my duties, I worked closely with the company salesmen across the country. I had contact mostly through email or phone, and every once in a while I would meet a couple of them as they flew into town for various training programs.
The company hosts a meet and greet dinner once a year in the spring (among other things) and as part of the marketing department, I was invited. The dinner is held at a local bar that I had not been to. I soon learned they were famous for their fried potato salad.
Normally, this type of social situation would be the source of at least a week's worth of anxiety because I am beyond shy with people I do not know. If I know you, look out, but if I don't know you, I clam up pretty tight. But I knew some of the people at this dinner, and I'd planned to go along with a couple of girlfriends from work, so I at least would have the company of friends and feel more comfortable.
Although I do drink occasionally, I don't drink often- mostly due to the fact that I have a very, very low tolerance. And due to the fact that my father died in a drunk driving accident when I was young, I never ever drink and drive- not even one drink. On this particular evening, i worked out an agreement with Bonehead for him to drop me off and then pick me up at a certain time so I could just relax and enjoy myself. I would be able to partake in free drinks after all.
So I arrived and ordered a margarita (oh how I love a good margarita), and relaxed with my girl friends and met some of the salesmen and got to match up some faces with the names. Dinner was taking a while, so I ordered another drink and laughed and talked and was social. Others at my table ordered another round, so hey, what the heck, I did too. After all, I wasn't driving.
Soon (three drinks for those who haven't been counting, but in my defense it was three on an empty stomach) my cheeks began to feel light. I became a bit giddy and was, well, quite happy to say the least. But I was trying desperately not to show how much of a light weight drinker I was. So, I ordered one more with the intention of not touching it until dinner was on the table.
Dinner finally arrived, in buffet style. I got up and made myself a hamburger with all the fixings, grabbed some fruit salad, some of the infamous potato salad I'd heard so much about, and settle back down to enjoy. There were oohs and ahhs from every side of me, and I agreed. The burgers were awesome,and the potato salad was fan-tas-tic.
When I was about 3/4 of the way through my burger, I realized something was off. I looked down at it and saw cheese, tomato, onion, lettuce, ketchup, and wait....I turned it around so I could look from a different vantage point....did I just really....
I glanced around to see if anyone had noticed my close inspection of my burger, but no one seemed to notice. Slyly, I used my thumb to pull up on the top half of the bun to gain a better glance inside...
THERE WAS NO HAMBURGER IN MY BURGER!!
And not only had I eaten 3/4 of it before I noticed, but I oohed and ahhed about how darn good it was too!
I quickly ate the rest of my burger so that no one would notice my lightheaded error and told no one, until I got home and confessed to Bonehead. Who laughed for quite some time at my expense.
I kept it a secret until the next year when It was time for the dinner again. I finally fessed up to my coworkers, who thoroughly enjoyed razzing me for it.
Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone, drink safe and remember to put your paddy on your burger...
Happy St. Patrick's Day
I am beginning to wonder if (living in close proximity to my Irish hubby) the luck of the Irish has rubbed off on me lately, for I experienced a new bout just today (pay no attention to the fact that I dropped the eggs I bought at the store this morning and broke half of them). This morning, when I went online one last time to get Bonehead's personal grocery list, I had a message waiting for me.
Sandi from Lucky Thirteen Plus One had a gracious giveaway on her blog, and I am the winner. I won a $100 certificate to Amazon.com! I have been a reader of her blog for a few months now, and I admire her for her ability to keep her sanity while being the mother of 14. Thank you, Sandi.
And now for the next installment of my most embarrassing moments...
I worked for a wonderful company as a temporary employee for a full year, but alas they didnt have a permanent opening for me. My daycare situation changed and I found myself giving notice because 85% of my paycheck was going to daycare costs. 6 months later, there was an opening within the company, my former supervisors let me know, and I applied and got the job.
It was a marketing position, and I absolutely loved my job. I already knew 98% of my coworkers, how the company worked, and it was like being home again. As part of my duties, I worked closely with the company salesmen across the country. I had contact mostly through email or phone, and every once in a while I would meet a couple of them as they flew into town for various training programs.
The company hosts a meet and greet dinner once a year in the spring (among other things) and as part of the marketing department, I was invited. The dinner is held at a local bar that I had not been to. I soon learned they were famous for their fried potato salad.
Normally, this type of social situation would be the source of at least a week's worth of anxiety because I am beyond shy with people I do not know. If I know you, look out, but if I don't know you, I clam up pretty tight. But I knew some of the people at this dinner, and I'd planned to go along with a couple of girlfriends from work, so I at least would have the company of friends and feel more comfortable.
Although I do drink occasionally, I don't drink often- mostly due to the fact that I have a very, very low tolerance. And due to the fact that my father died in a drunk driving accident when I was young, I never ever drink and drive- not even one drink. On this particular evening, i worked out an agreement with Bonehead for him to drop me off and then pick me up at a certain time so I could just relax and enjoy myself. I would be able to partake in free drinks after all.
So I arrived and ordered a margarita (oh how I love a good margarita), and relaxed with my girl friends and met some of the salesmen and got to match up some faces with the names. Dinner was taking a while, so I ordered another drink and laughed and talked and was social. Others at my table ordered another round, so hey, what the heck, I did too. After all, I wasn't driving.
Soon (three drinks for those who haven't been counting, but in my defense it was three on an empty stomach) my cheeks began to feel light. I became a bit giddy and was, well, quite happy to say the least. But I was trying desperately not to show how much of a light weight drinker I was. So, I ordered one more with the intention of not touching it until dinner was on the table.
Dinner finally arrived, in buffet style. I got up and made myself a hamburger with all the fixings, grabbed some fruit salad, some of the infamous potato salad I'd heard so much about, and settle back down to enjoy. There were oohs and ahhs from every side of me, and I agreed. The burgers were awesome,and the potato salad was fan-tas-tic.
When I was about 3/4 of the way through my burger, I realized something was off. I looked down at it and saw cheese, tomato, onion, lettuce, ketchup, and wait....I turned it around so I could look from a different vantage point....did I just really....
I glanced around to see if anyone had noticed my close inspection of my burger, but no one seemed to notice. Slyly, I used my thumb to pull up on the top half of the bun to gain a better glance inside...
THERE WAS NO HAMBURGER IN MY BURGER!!
And not only had I eaten 3/4 of it before I noticed, but I oohed and ahhed about how darn good it was too!
I quickly ate the rest of my burger so that no one would notice my lightheaded error and told no one, until I got home and confessed to Bonehead. Who laughed for quite some time at my expense.
I kept it a secret until the next year when It was time for the dinner again. I finally fessed up to my coworkers, who thoroughly enjoyed razzing me for it.
Happy St. Paddy's Day everyone, drink safe and remember to put your paddy on your burger...
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Friday, March 13, 2009
The Great Domestic Expedition of 2009- Day #5
FRIDAY MORNING 8:39 a.m. : Chasity has been located. She was spotted at about 8pm last night. According to our report, she got sidetracked on her way up the mountain by some hot springs. The search party located her lounging in one in bubble bath fashion with a glass of wine. She stated she spotted the Wifus Domesticus and it scared her senseless. She ran as far away from the mountain as she could get.
9:01 a.m. : I have been dragged back into the jungles of domesticity. Believe me, I was kicking and screaming. But now that I am back at base camp and have been allowed the additional luxury of a cup of coffee, I must once again gear up for the day ahead of me. It is Friday. The weekend quickly approaches, and I refuse to allow this mountain to loom before me for another day with out conquering. No bubble baths, no excuses. I'm going in.
12:16 p.m. : I failed to notice it was Friday the 13th. Normally I don't put too much stock in the day (my 13th and 18th birthdays occurred on Friday the 13th and they turned out pretty good) but somehow I managed to cut my thumb by breaking a glass while loading the dishwasher. Spiderman bandaid anyone? Heading back to base camp to throw some salt over my shoulder.
9:01 a.m. : I have been dragged back into the jungles of domesticity. Believe me, I was kicking and screaming. But now that I am back at base camp and have been allowed the additional luxury of a cup of coffee, I must once again gear up for the day ahead of me. It is Friday. The weekend quickly approaches, and I refuse to allow this mountain to loom before me for another day with out conquering. No bubble baths, no excuses. I'm going in.
12:16 p.m. : I failed to notice it was Friday the 13th. Normally I don't put too much stock in the day (my 13th and 18th birthdays occurred on Friday the 13th and they turned out pretty good) but somehow I managed to cut my thumb by breaking a glass while loading the dishwasher. Spiderman bandaid anyone? Heading back to base camp to throw some salt over my shoulder.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
The Great Domestic Expedition of 2009- Day #4
THURSDAY MORNING 8:58 a.m. : Base camp is in fairly good shape this morning. It should take less than an hour to whip things back into the shape they were at approximately 16 hours ago, so that is good. Of course, that leaves me no choice but to tackle that mountain today. Crap. Can you climb a mountain in a haz-mat suit? There will be skivvies. Scary, scary skivvies.
10:14 a.m. : The dishwasher has once again been tamed. In 5 minutes, I am going to begin my ascent up the mountain. I fear for my safety. If no one hears from me by noon, send reinforcements.
2:36 p.m. : No word from Chasity in more than 4 hours. Search party assembled and deployed.
3:26 p.m. : Base camp has lost contact with the search party. What the heck is going on up there?
10:14 a.m. : The dishwasher has once again been tamed. In 5 minutes, I am going to begin my ascent up the mountain. I fear for my safety. If no one hears from me by noon, send reinforcements.
2:36 p.m. : No word from Chasity in more than 4 hours. Search party assembled and deployed.
3:26 p.m. : Base camp has lost contact with the search party. What the heck is going on up there?
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