Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Coup

WARNING: ACCORDING TO BONEHEAD THE FOLLOWING POST IS "A LITTLE FUNNY, BUT GUYS DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THAT STUFF." Which prompted me to promise him a disclaimer-So- if you're male, you may want to skip the post today and visit again in the near future. Sorry 'bout that, dudes.

In order to explain where I've been for an entire week without so much as a sneeze on my blog, I feel I must tell you a story.

I once cried so hard I lost a contact. Not rubbing my eye and oops it fell out, but cried tears copious enough to wash it out never to be seen again. I was newly pregnant with my firstborn son, and tried to take money out of the ATM so I could stop at Subway for sandwiches on my way home from work. I was denied cash, meaning at that particular moment in time, there was not a spare 20 dollars to my name. After the machine yelled,"Denied!" at me, I continued my drive home and began crying a torrent of tears that only got worse as I started telling Bonehead we couldn't eat Subway. The world was ending because I couldn't have the sandwich my pregnant butt had been craving all day. I lost the contact sometime during that meltdown, never to be seen again. I'd like to say that the meltdown was all about the stress of being pregnant with your first child while being the only source of income because my husband was a full time student and wondering how on earth we were going to feed, diaper, clothe, and nurture a child, (and maybe subliminally it was) but it all came down to one thing in the end.

Hormones.

My hormones had screamed mutiny, leaving my sanity no choice but to jump ship.

My pregnancy with Critter was no better. In fact, my hormones did a switcheroo and I was no longer a sobbing mess. I was officially a snarling, snippy possum on a rampage for no good reason under the sun other than the fact that it may have been shining wrongly in my direction. It prompted my older son to tell me one morning, "I know why you're so grouchy, Mom, it's because you're pregnant." To which I inquired how he knew that and was promptly informed, "Daddy told me."

Upon confronting Bonehead with the statement, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "We boys have to stick together. You're a walking emotional bomb, we have no idea what to expect from you, and he needs to be prepared for that."

I counted on the fact that after Critter's birth (Since we knew that Critter was the completing member of our family long before he was born) I would never have to be such a hormonal mess again. I had no clue whatsoever how wrong I was. Apparently, my hormones have decided to turn that second mutiny into a coup.

Back in the day, it was so simple. Exactly 24 hours before the dreaded monthly event, I would have a mental breakdown. A personal little Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, I think I'll Go Eat Some Worms moment or two, and that was it. I could see it for what it was and know that I need to be prepared in the next 24 hours.

Now, apparently, all bets are off. I could turn into a weepy mess as early as a week before, and channel Jekyll and Hyde even as long as 3 days after.

So to sum things up, the answer to where I've been the last week, is that apparently I've lost my flipping mind and have been trying my best to stomp the hell out of Jekyll (and anyone else lucky enough to be in my way) in a coup of historic proportions.

But now that the stable Jekyll has gained the upper hand and I am once again stable emotionally, things are good. You know, for another 25 days or so. I hate hormones.







1 comment:

Mom said...

Glad I'm in Florida! LOL