"So, what do you think? 6?"
In response to Bonehead's question, I stated, "6 is REALLY pushing it, I would go with 5:30 at the VERY LATEST."
Bonehead pushed the necessary buttons on the alarm, and set it for 5:30 a.m. in order to get up, hide the baskets, and set up the egg hunt leading to Smoochie's new bicycle in the back yard. Soon we were both slumbering deeply, because the hour was already late.
I heard the alarm at 5:30, which in fact is 5:10 because Bonehead's brilliant idea is to set the clock 20 minutes fast so he can feel free to hit snooze without guilt. And snooze he did. After the second time, I pretty much pushed him out of bed, telling him to take the baskets down with him.
Now that MY work was done, I rolled over, and tried to go back to sleep while listening to the creak of the hardwood floors downstairs through the baby monitor. I briefly wondered how many elephants we had trampling through the living room and then began to drift back off to sleep.
Then I heard Bonehead ask,"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?"
I sat straight up in bed and stated, "CRAP!"
I began mentally yelling at Bonehead because I knew he was pushing his luck, I just KNEW it. Stupid snooze button. Stupid 20 minute idea. Now our kid is going to be THAT KID. The one on the playground screaming about the non-reality of Santa and The Easter Bunny, and how Big Brother thinks he can get away with micro-chipping us without our consent, and "Buck the system, Man, Buck the system!"
I sat there waiting for the tears, or the accusations, or ANYTHING to show that Bonehead had in fact been caught red handed. All I heard was a little sleepy voice state, "I have to go potty."
Followed by Bonehead's, "Well hurry up and go potty then, I think I heard the Easter Bunny downstairs hiding eggs or something."
(Side note here, probably not the best idea to tell a 7 year old child there's a 6 foot rabbit running around in your cold damp sparsely lit basement. The next nightmare is all yours there, buddy.)
After a few minutes, I heard Bonehead usher our son back to bed, and then climb back upstairs.
"What HAPPENED?", I asked as soon as he poked his head through the door.
"In high school they teach you Planck's constant, the speed of light, the Pythagorean theorem, and what to do with dangling participles, but they don't teach you what to do when your 7 year old son catches you playing Easter Bunny at 5:30 in the morning because he had to get up and take a dump."
It turns out that the only thing Bonehead was caught red handed at was charging the digital camera. Smooch did see his little brother's basket, but due to the fact that 'there's a 6 foot tall rabbit running around in our basement right now', the little guy was more than willing to go back to bed and let the bunny do his thing. Crisis averted for another year. Phew.
17 minutes ago