I know I haven't been very loyal about blogging lately. It seems my mind has been everywhere all at once, and when that happens, it's very hard to pinpoint anything down long enough to write about it.
I've been thinking alot about my role as a mother and what I want for my children. It goes without saying I'd like health and happiness for them, I'm sure pretty much any parent wants that for their child. But I've been thinking beyond that. When my children are in their thirties, how are they going to look back on their childhood? Are they going to remember the psychotic hormonal mom who snapped at them for inexplicable reasons once or twice a month(or a week but who's counting the days), or are they going to remember impromptu games of Battleship played while sprawled across the livingroom floor?
Is it important they remember a clean and orderly house (and bedroom) or is it more important they remember the love and welcoming of friends into the home no matter what?
Although I'm still actively pondering these things, and will be for a long time to come I believe, I have come to the best conclusion I can.
I want my children (as adults) to be honorable, true to themselves, and happy. They do not have to be state champions in wrestling. They do not have to be professional football players (although with the name Bonehead gave Critter he certainly is hoping-sidenote- did anyone notice the football in his crib in the last set of pictures I posted? That's all Bonehead. I'm responsible for the stuffed green frog, he's responsible for the "Official" Chicago Bears Football.) or doctors or lawyers. I don't find it necessary to raise Rhodes Scholars (although you won't hear a single complaint from me if they are).
I want my boys to be honest and hardworking. Loyal and caring. True to themselves and others. I want them to know great love. And to believe in the good in life. To know and recognize who they are as people. Not to give up easily. I want my boys to be good to others, and to themselves.
If, when my boys are in their 30's, I can look at them and see these things, I will be one very fulfilled mother.
In the meantime, it is my job to guide them, and show them all of these traits through the best example I can. Through me.
I've been thinking alot about my role as a mother and what I want for my children. It goes without saying I'd like health and happiness for them, I'm sure pretty much any parent wants that for their child. But I've been thinking beyond that. When my children are in their thirties, how are they going to look back on their childhood? Are they going to remember the psychotic hormonal mom who snapped at them for inexplicable reasons once or twice a month(or a week but who's counting the days), or are they going to remember impromptu games of Battleship played while sprawled across the livingroom floor?
Is it important they remember a clean and orderly house (and bedroom) or is it more important they remember the love and welcoming of friends into the home no matter what?
Although I'm still actively pondering these things, and will be for a long time to come I believe, I have come to the best conclusion I can.
I want my children (as adults) to be honorable, true to themselves, and happy. They do not have to be state champions in wrestling. They do not have to be professional football players (although with the name Bonehead gave Critter he certainly is hoping-sidenote- did anyone notice the football in his crib in the last set of pictures I posted? That's all Bonehead. I'm responsible for the stuffed green frog, he's responsible for the "Official" Chicago Bears Football.) or doctors or lawyers. I don't find it necessary to raise Rhodes Scholars (although you won't hear a single complaint from me if they are).
I want my boys to be honest and hardworking. Loyal and caring. True to themselves and others. I want them to know great love. And to believe in the good in life. To know and recognize who they are as people. Not to give up easily. I want my boys to be good to others, and to themselves.
If, when my boys are in their 30's, I can look at them and see these things, I will be one very fulfilled mother.
In the meantime, it is my job to guide them, and show them all of these traits through the best example I can. Through me.
4 comments:
Well said. We're not raising our boys in this type of house, but as an example, what I remember of my childhood is arguing parents and covering stories. I want my boys to be wise and know how to make smart choices, and to have fun. I also want them to remember parents who were equally focused on their marriage and roles as husband and wife as we are on them and our roles as parents. Yes, I can freak out if my environment is out of whack, but when I can sense that happening, I need to remember to step back and listen to them.
great post...
Congratulations you have just describe what as a Mother I see and know you are at age 34. Honorable, honest, hardworking, loyal, caring, smart, and you have the biggest heart a child can have. So since you already have these traits I already know they will be instilled in to my grandchildren. The only advice I would give is choose only the battles that are really critical and let the other ones go. And your house cleaning, laundry, ect will always be there but your children are with you for a short time. So play those games, go for the walks to the park, stop and give them the extra attention and hopefully one day down the road you'll be bless as I am and get back more than you deserve just as I have because I have wonderful daughters who I can also say are my best fiends. I Love you and know you are doing and will do a great job as a Mother.
I want the same for my kids, and I also want them to know and have a loving relationship with their partners.
This is where I have failed. I've been married a long time (in the process of separating now) and even in the best of times, we were never "loving."
and...
I love the fact your mom reads and comments on your blog.
I know exactly what you mean! I have two boys of my own and you described exactly what I want for them. The hard part is trying to do your best each day to make it happen!
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