Thursday, May 14, 2009

Passive Aggressive Much?

Before Smoochie was born, Bonehead and I lived in Southern Illinois so he could attend SIU.  One day while living there and being the 20 somethings we were, we decided that we each needed our ear cartilage pierced.

* Side note- before I go any further, I need to clarify a couple of things.  I have 0 tattoos and no desire to pierce anything that is not attached to the side of my head.  In general I try to give life an I'll try anything once attitude, but due to an allergy I have to any metal less than 14k gold and sometimes even that, there will never be anything pierced on my personal being beyond my ears.  I can't even wear a watch- the stainless steel on the back and the cheap clasps give me a major rash.  Nope, no piercings for me, sorry if it makes me look like a fuddy duddy.  For the same reasons, I hesitate to tattoo anything- what if I'm allergic to the ink as well?  It's not like I can just go take it out, if you catch my drift.

Now Bonehead owns a couple (meaning 3) tattoos, and once pierced his ear with a paper clip in high school, I believe.  Although I take first place in other areas of misadventure, when it comes to the body, he's always been just slightly more cutting edge than me.  Now, back to my story.

On this particular day in Southern Illinois before we were parents, we headed out to the little local mall to the piercing place to get our cartilage pierced.  After walking in and explaining what we wanted, Bonehead and I had a little discussion:

Bonehead: "OK, Chas, you go first."

Me: "Are you serious?  I think you should go first."

Bonehead: "No, that's OK, you go."

Me: (Completely not wanting to make a scene about this) "Fine.  I'll go first."

And with that, I went into super stubborn mode.  I climbed up onto the chair (yes, I'm 5'3 & 1/2" tall and so I climbed up) and provided my ear for the  teenage space cadet to attach the piercing gun to.  Being in stubborn mode, I put on my very best poker face.  And Space Cadet (quite possibly Sadistic Space Cadet) hit the shoot button.

Ouch, ouch, oh ouch.  Seering pain followed by a white hot heat smacked me upside the head.  Still, I kept on my best poker face- I didn't flinch or change expression at all- because by this time, I was pretty ticked off that my big strong protective MAN made me go first for this torture.

I hopped down and sadistically enjoyed his turn.  Oh yeah, buddy, TAKE THAT!

Once we left the store he looked at me and said, "Why the hell DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT HURT SO MUCH?"

By now the whole side of my head was warm and tingly.

"Seriously?  You make me go first to face an instrument of torture, and expect me to share how painful it is with you so you can chicken out and make me the only one to endure this pain?  Think again, mister, think again."

I have recently negotiated Tuesday and Thursday evenings for a little me time.  On Tuesday, my beloved Bonehead was kind enough to get my bike ready for me to take my first solo ride of the season.  It involved running it up to the local bike shop because the brake wouldn't stop rubbing, replacing the battery in the computer, and making sure I had adequate air in my tires. 

"The wind is out of the South," he said.  So I planned to head South into the wind in order to have the wind at my back on the way home.  I soon discovered that he had failed to tell me just how strong the wind actually was.

1/2 an hour later as I was in full on granny gear painfully cranking out a snail's pace against the wind, I remembered our piercing adventure.

Touche, Bonehead.  Touche.


Johnny said...

A couple few things-

1) You failed to mention the whole piercing outing was my idea. Of course that only adds to the comeuppance factor on your behalf.

2) I pierced my ear with a safety pin. In Mr. Brozek's 4th hour Modern American Lit Class. We had a substitute teacher that day, I'm pretty sure it was her first official day as a teacher right out of college. I made sure we had direct eye contact when I did it. She almost fainted.

3) One more drink, and I think I could have talked you into a piercing after Otto's last week!

4) I didn't tell you how strong the wind was because it doesn't matter. It's like saying it is raining out, then saying that rain is really wet.

5) Man did that HURT!!! I was quite shocked. You got me good. I can't remember how long it took before I could put my motorcycle helmet on without wanting to cry.

Traci said...

I swear you should write a column for the local are sooo funny!!!

for a different kind of girl said...

I, too, am an ears-only kind of girl. Last year, I entertained the idea of getting a tiny gem chip piercing in my nostril, and there are days when the idea still pops up. I am friends with a couple tattoo artists/piercers who will hook me up, but the reality of it keeps me away! Heck, I get a rash from my wedding ring!

Anonymous said...

OMG that was funny. That's my daughter for you wonder where you get that from? Love You so much!