"You Watch Your Phraseology!"

Phrases & expressions often used in our home & their meanings;

Bean dip: What a person is full of at any given moment in time. If you’re pulling my leg (which has been known to happen on occasion) you are full of bean dip. If you’re telling a tall tale you are full of bean dip. If you’re telling the truth and we choose not to believe you, there may be a loudly coughed expression of “Bean dip!”

Wing nut: Bonehead is more often than not a wing nut. Wing nut is good because it often means there is laughter among us. Smoochie has his daddy’s impeccable comedic timing, making him a wing nut. Critter, although he can’t quite spew forth impeccably timed witty & dry sarcasm just yet, has inherited the mischievous sparkle in his eyes from his father as well, and is already showing wing nut traits. Kepler likes to lick the carpet. He’s a wing nut too. I’m surrounded by wing nuts. Which means I spend a good portion of my days crying with laughter.

I’m not thinkin so: Candy Nerds for breakfast? Uh, yeah. I’m not thinkin so. You want to wear shorts to school (In Chicagoland) in February? Uh, yeah. I’m not thinkin so.

Hey Bebbe (pronounced beh-beh): Comes with its very own NC17 rating. Somebody’s feeling a bit playful.

Up your butt eating a ham sammich: This phrase also has a NC17 rating. Honey, have you seen my keys? -If they were up your butt eating a ham sammich, you’d know where they are. This phrase can be used in many forms, for example: Where’s my belt? - Sitting next to your ham sammich.

Keplercino (Pronounced Kepler-Cheeno): The dog when he’s spazzing, like he’s had too much coffee.

I’ll get right on it: Yeah, right. I’ll be snoring in 5. The likelihood of “it” happing in the next hour is less than the likelihood of an army of genetically engineered pigs showing up at our back door to recruit our household pets for their cause.

Dropper: Borrowed from an episode of Friends, and is more often than not me. I’m known for my sweetness and charm, not my grace and agility.

Jackass: (NC17) Saved for moments when our 110 pound German shepherd (and OCCASIONALLY Bonehead) is acting like a stubborn mule. And if that doesn’t work, he gets called a Poodle. The dog, not the hubby.

Walk & Talk: Smoochie stories are notoriously slow. And he has the inability to do anything else while telling one of them. Even if we’re horribly late. Thus the phrase, “Walk & Talk, Smooch” came into being.

Choppin the liver: According to Smooch at 3, someone was not “chopped liver”, they were Choppin the liver. It stuck.

Quit your BeBoppin’: Smoochie never just walks anywhere. He’s like a popcorn kernel right before popping. Things break, or get knocked over. But mostly, it’s ineffective, like trying to bottle sunshine.

And last but not least,

Uh-oh: The phrase uttered approx. 5 seconds before somebody “toots”.