Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Smell This

In high school I vaguely remember watching a movie of sorts in English class, and having a head full of little paper wads when the lights came back on. Bonehead was “watching” the very same movie directly behind me.

I remember being chased with a spider once within the first month of marriage. I think I might have either broken or spilled something in my attempt to get away from it, so it hasn’t happened again.

Over the years there have been many instances of being picked on, but they come and go. His most recent method? Sweaty workout clothes.

Inside Bonehead lives the heart and comic genius of a 9 year old boy who thinks trying to get me to smell his “sweaty ass pad” is hysterical.

“Here, smell this.”

“Come on, you know you want to.”

In general, I am a pushover. I have a hard time saying no to all but my son. Sometimes I even have a hard time saying no to him.

But I can safely say that a good solid whiff of workout clothes that even if currently dry were at one time dripping wet is not something I desire, nor do I crave that kind of intimacy from my husband. I’m pretty darn certain that in this instance I’m not EVER going to cave and say, “Oh OK big boy bring it on.”

And yet, I do think he’s so desperate for me to smell the darn things I almost got chased with them this afternoon. Or maybe the call to pick on Chas has been dormant for too long and must be made up for.

Either way, I can say one thing with certainty. If I were ever faced with making the decision between being chased with a spider or smelling “the pad”, I would most certainly choose to implode.


Traci said...

OMG!!! You are too funny. My dh won't eat ANYTHING unless he can smell it first. He said, "Why would I put it in my mouth if it doesn't smell good." Have you ever seen the movie, Better Off Dead w/ John Cusak? There is a scene where he is looking around a girl's bedroom and picks up a model of a brain and SMELLS IT!!! That is sooooooooo my husband. So, did you lose this week? I DID!!!!

for a different kind of girl said...

Hilarious! Some guys will always have a little bit of their old junior high/high school selves in them! My husband is the same ways, always finding some way to tease me. He calls it flirting. Some days I call it annoying!

Anonymous said...

Yea but you'll pickup the baby & smell his bottom to see if he needs changing! Whats with that?

Chas said...

Mom- Good point on smelling Critter's bottom. I have absolutely no clue what the difference is, but I can assure you I still have no desire to go there- Even if he does threaten to put his sweaty workout clothes on my face when I sleep.

for a different kind of girl- You are right, my husband will never outgrow the junior high desire to tease me- its like breathing to him. Most days I don't mind, it keeps me laughing. Most days.

traci- I'm pretty sure my husband smells (and caresses) his bike before each ride, does that count?

Johnny said...

It's a complex aroma little vulcanized rubber, a hint of Bike Clean spray cleaner, teflon with a hint of mineral spirits, and just a smidgen of Phil Wood water proof grease...smells a little bit like heaven actually.

I DO NOT caress my bike, it caresses me.