I have been a stay at home mom for just under a week now. 6 days, to be exact, and three of those 6 days were spent out of town. In those 6 days I have wondered no less than 40 and no more than 500 times exactly what I have gotten myself into.
For example, today we went grocery shopping for our food for this week. Let me be clear. I. Hate. Grocery shopping. Strongly, vehemently, and passionately. To begin with, nothing puts me in a better mood than trying to squeeze a cart and two kids down an overcrowded aisle politely. My 6 year old has taken lessons from our dog and learned how to stand in exactly the wrong spots at precisely the right time for me to trip over him or clog up the slow moving gears of shopping traffic. And although his mood today is much improved over yesterday, my 4 month old knows how to make it clear he’d rather be doing something else. Mostly, though, he was good.
Smoochie in his own way was just as good. But he has two qualities about him that make him who he is. Mostly I find them endearing, but sometimes I secretly wish for a sensory deprivation tank.
Quality #1. The ability to talk at the speed of light. My husband can tell you precisely what this speed is even when he has been over-served, but I will never remember. Really, though, there is no need to. All I have to do is ask Smoochie a question to start the launch sequence. Speech at the speed of light spews forth. Then there is no stopping it.
“Smooch, should we get a watermelon today?”
“Mom. Mom. Mom. Look, broccoli. There’s napkins. Do you want cheese crackers? How about egg plants? Why do they have to put eggs with the cold stuff? Mom. Mom. Mom. Can we get ice cream? What about the toys? How do they make cheese, Mom? Can we go buy a toy today?”
Let’s just say there’s next to no ability left in me to comparison shop with that dialogue going on in the background.
Quality #2. The ability to turn the smallest excursion into a giant project. This particular quality is one I enjoy watching in action on his grandmother because she has the patience for it. The woman is an absolute saint.
“Smooch, please would you help me carry the groceries inside?”
“Sure. What if I take the first two bags and put them by the pantry? The next bag I can put by the coffee pot, and the one after that I can put on my bed. Mom, I was swinging the bag and a can of green beans accidentally fell out. Would you like them in the freezer? I want to keep our toilet paper rolls and freeze water in them, and a balloon too. That way in the winter time I can take them outside and play bowling with them. Mom, don’t throw THAT box away, I can keep it, freeze water in it, and use it as a seat for my bowling alley this winter.”
Needless to say, a shopping trip that usually takes me an hour took 2 ½ hours.
My lesson #1 as a stay at home mom- Take a really deep breath, slow down, and try to keep up with and respond to speech at the speed of light.
8 minutes ago